Picnic in the Bathroom

I'm sure that at least some of you have at one time or another heard of women being asked to stop nursing  in a certain place because someone found it offensive.  I counted myself blessed to have never had personal experience with this form of ignorance until today.  I wasn't actually in the process of feeding my little buddy but, was looking for a quiet place to sit and comfortably do so.  We were out to see one of the mall Santas in our area and had a way to go before it was our turn.  I decided to try to nurse the baby or as always happens he would have decided he needed to eat as our turn to pow wow with the big guy came up.  In my breastfeeding classes I frequently recommend that mothers find themselves an empty dressing room in which to sit and nurse if they are uncomfortable breastfeeding in public or if they have other little people they need to wrangle while they feed, so I decided to take my own advice and entered a clothing store that will go unnamed.  Normally I would have waltzed in and picked my own spot but, for some reason,  I decided I would ask for permission to commandeer a room.  The sales clerk I questioned took me to a woman I am assuming was the manager and proceeded to ask her if I could nurse my baby in one of their fitting rooms.  She thought for a moment then looked at me and said "Wouldn't you rather go to the bathroom?"  Well, let me just say that I could feel the heat of anger rise from my toes up to my cheeks.  Let me see, would I like to sit on the floor or toilet of a dirty public restroom and picnic with my baby?  I think not.  Dumbfounded as I was, the only reply I could muster was the standard,  "Would you like to eat in the bathroom?".  After stumbling over her tongue for a moment she quickly said "I guess not".  After that any desire to borrow their space was lost and I mustered a sarcastic "Never mind" and walked out.  This incident angers me for two reasons.  First, I just got a pair of jeans produced by this boutique (mind you at a discount store and for 75% off) and secondly, it brought my high ideals about the progress that lactation professionals have made in helping the public to see breastfeeding as normal back down to earth.  I was perfectly happy floating up there on my delusional cloud when all of the sudden KAPOW!  Reality hits me like a lighting bolt.  After years of hard work by many people and tons of research to back up it's importance people still don't get it and breastfeeding is not the norm!  How frustrated am I?  It seems as if for every step we take forward we take the proverbial two steps back.  I guess for now I will have to be satisfied with the small victories that are made when passionate professionals and lay persons work gently and effectively with each mother baby dyad to help relieve their stress and discomfort and encourage them to reach their goals.  I am still hopeful that a cultural change will eventually be made.  Keep trudging along ladies and remember.  NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE BATHROOM!

Passing Down a Talent for Breastfeeding

     I just spent a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with my "Little Granny".  She is a small
(probably 4' 10") woman with snow white hair that she has worn knotted into a french twist for as long as I can remember.  I only rarely get to see her and we spent the day eating, laughing and amusing ourselves with our crafts of choice, knitting for me and crocheting for her.
     Women on my mother's side of the family have always been very adept at the "womanly arts" and I can remember Granny teaching me to crochet around the age of 8.  One time I made a chain from scrap yarn that ran the entire length of her house and as I got older my projects became more complicated.  My interest in knitting has been in me for years but it wasn't until recently that I learned how and that was only after begging my mother to teach me.
     As we worked on our projects we talked about her mother (Granmommy) and her talents for quilting, knitting, crocheting and tatting.  Tatting is a process of making handmade lace by looping and knotting a single thread on a small shuttle.  When Granmommy died this talent was lost in our family because she never taught any of her 3 daughters the technique.  I'm sure we could add this art form back to our family repertoire but only with much research and effort and sadly without the insight and experience of my great -grandmother.  Granny, my mother, and I lamented this loss and I of course couldn't help but draw a parallel between it and breastfeeding.
     Breastfeeding, although it is the way we as human beings are intended to feed our young, does not always come naturally.  I have had 7 years in the field of lactation to ponder for myself and discuss with my fellow professionals why this is the case.  Apart from any anatomical issues over which we  may have no control, the most common answer is that we have not been taught how.  There have been plenty of decades and generations of bottle fed infants to pass since the advent of artificial milk so that the knowledge of breastfeeding whys and hows has been lost to us.  Were you breastfed?  Did you have the benefit of growing and maturing in an environment where breastfeeding was the norm and where you could see women actively nursing their young?  If you are like most women of childbearing age the answer is no.  
     As much as I lament the loss of the art of breastfeeding I am also encouraged by the number of women I see attempting to initiate a breastfeeding relationship with their precious little ones and by the number of women seeking assistance if they find themselves struggling.  If you are expecting and have no or little knowledge about how breastfeeding works know that there are many women out there who want you to succeed and are willing to support you through this journey.  Take a class, ask questions, educate yourself.  As my husband is always reminding me, it is better to be proactive than reactive.
     It is my hope that by the time our grandchildren are born the current breastfeeding environment will have changed and our daughters will be able to easily glide into their new role as Dairy Queen and to do so because when they were little someone taught them how.
    

The Lord Provides

     I have one childhood memory of observing a mother nursing her baby.  I was probably 5 at the time and  was with my mother at a friend's home.  I have probably exaggerated in my mind how quickly I was positioned to look away from the nursing couple but, whatever the speed, the action of turning me away certainly did not make me feel that breastfeeding was a normal part of mothering.  Breastfeeding was not a frequent topic of conversation in our home but if it ever came up I was left with the fear that if I were anything like my mother I would "not have enough milk".  I don't fault my mother for the fact that she felt like she needed to shield my young eyes (maybe she was actually trying to give the nursing mom privacy) or that I was formula fed because of her "lack of milk", it simply was not popular to nurse your baby in the early 70's and there was lots of misinformation out there.
     So, at 27 years old, preparing to have my first child, I chose to breastfeed. How with that oh so positive breastfeeding background did I come to that decision?  It's simple, He gave me what I needed.  By He I mean God.  My parents might not have given me breastmilk but, they certainly instilled in me what I needed to develop a relationship with our Creator and to have faith that he would follow through  on the promise that he would provide all that I require.   In regards to feeding my children He has certainly made my cup run over (ha, ha).  Here's how.
   He led me to a love of moms and babies,  he provided positions on labor and delivery units where I could work and learn, he provided me with wonderful mentors to inspire and encourage me, he made my physical body to work the way he designed it, he provided me with the desire to use his perfect tool, and he gave me beautiful, healthy children who were willing and able to nurse.  I marvel everyday at His provisions and smile at the way he works all things for good.
   You too may feel less than optimistic about the prospect of nourishing your child at the breast but, let me encourage you that even if you run into difficulty He will provide you with whatever and whomever
you need to fulfill his plan.